“How you show up for this is how you show up for everything.”
Here’s my reaction to that statement:
Huh. (Thought provoking)
Hmmmm. (Realization of an opportunity)
Got it. (GROWTH)
How you show up for your divorce will have lasting effects on yourself and your children.
I have been in your shoes, and I get that this concept is not easy to swallow, but I know there is value in getting in front of the divorce process with clarity and intention.
Here's my “Unexpected” Divorce Checklist to help you show up in the best frame of mind possible.
Our habits, interactions, and the way we treat the individuals involved have an immeasurable impact on the divorce process and ourselves.
What would it feel like to take the high road on behalf of yourself and your children?
How would it feel to diminish the volatility of this situation?
What would it be like to make decisions from a place of clarity versus a state of emotional reaction?
There are two scenarios that can play out during the divorce process based on how you show up:
If you show up to the divorce process emotionally charged, lacking clarity and intention in your interactions, your life during divorce will yield less than ideal results. There is a greater risk that you will develop a negative mindset and habits that will feed into that way of showing up. Later, you may find yourself living as an emotionally charged victim of divorce, just moving through life and ‘the hand that you have been dealt.’
If you take the situation that you have been faced with (even though none of us take our marriage vows thinking we will be faced with a divorce) and rise up to meet the challenge with courage, confidence, and clarity you will be ready to process your emotions and make informed decisions. This will make you much better off in the long run, for you will be able to move forward in creating your life after divorce, something that I personally know to be true.
There were times during my divorce when my indecision or my insecurity showed up, and I can tell you the outcome. The results (or lack thereof) in those moments were not what I desired. The process was drawn out, and I wasted so much time and energy in that insecure space.
On the other hand, in the moments and interactions when I was showing up as the confident woman who had clarity about what she wanted for her next steps were the stepping stones to where I stand now, living a life that I have created. I can honestly share with you that I am a better woman now because of the way I showed up during my divorce.
How will you chose to show up?
What does that look like?
How can we make that your reality?
A private divorce coach is about getting clear on how you will handle your divorce. A coach can identify how you will show up for this process, what you desire the outcomes to be, and then help you work on instilling the habits and strategies that will put those desires into action.
It can be a powerful, life changing process.