There are many things that can sour a marriage. If you and your spouse have experienced infidelity, your communication has become negative, or you are no longer supportive of one another, it can make staying in the relationship feel like a struggle. If your partner has come to you and asked for a divorce, you may be wondering if there is anything you can do to save your marriage. The answer is yes!
Receiving divorce advice from a marital counselor can help you and your spouse put your issues behind you, improve communication, and restore the love you once felt for each other. But, there are certain steps you must follow closely in order to make your counseling sessions a success.
Here are 9 ways couples therapy can help prevent you from getting a divorce.
1. Why You Need Divorce Advice
Getting a divorce is an emotionally and mentally exhausting ordeal, as is dealing with a failing marriage. It can be difficult to know where to begin when your partner tells you they are unhappy or that they want to separate.
When presented with the offer of a divorce you will likely want to know what it is going to cost you, how long your spouse has been feeling this way, what your rights are, and most importantly - how to save your marriage.
2. Don't Wait Until It’s Too Late
One of the best pieces of advice to help prevent your getting a divorce is not to wait until your spouse is presenting you with divorce papers before working on problems in the relationship.
Nobody enjoys living in a house where the is zero emotional or physical chemistry or where fighting or passive-aggressive behavior is the norm. When you begin sensing marital discord or genuine unhappiness in each other's company, start talking about marital counseling. The sooner you see a counselor, the higher the chance you are going to save your marriage.
3. Talk to your Partner
Ask your partner to attend marital counseling before settling for a divorce. You cannot force them to go, especially if they are dead-set on ending the marriage, but you can make a calm and respectful plea to give the relationship one last chance.
Explain to your spouse the benefits of divorce advice from marital therapy such as,
- Working out your issues
- Learning to communicate
- Building trust
- Identifying troubled spots in the marriage
- Learn to fight fair/healthy conflict resolution
- Strive to understand your partner better
4. Find the Right Therapist
Choosing the right therapist plays a large role in how successful therapy will be in preventing you from getting a divorce. You, your spouse and your therapist must work together as a team. You must respect their advice and have a good rapport.
Both you and your spouse should feel comfortable opening up to your counselor. They should make you feel welcome and have an unbiased attitude toward both your and your partner. If either of you feels that your therapist is showing favoritism or feel no connection toward them, it can make therapy a negative experience.
5. Be Honest in Your Sessions
Communication is essential for a successful marriage. One research study found that relationship satisfaction is boosted when partners clearly outline each other’s household responsibilities.
This fact outlines the importance of you and your spouse talking openly about your wants and needs within the marriage. Making such a list and sticking to it can increase relationship satisfaction and raise morale.
It's also essential that both partners are honest about what is missing in the relationship as well as what needs to change in order for the marriage to succeed.
6. Do it for the Right Reasons
If you want marital therapy to save your relationship, you have to be in it for the right reasons. Do you really want to save your marriage? Do not attend therapy simply to say that you tried, when in reality you've already given up.
7. Put Preventative Divorce Advice into Action
The biggest piece of divorce advice you can follow is this, listen to your counselor. If you were building a house, you wouldn't disregard the advice of your contractor or ignore the advice of your doctor if you were ailing, would you?
Your therapist will give you excellent preventative divorce advice. This is what they are trained to do. But even the best advice will be useless if you do not put it into action.
A marriage counselor will help teach you both how to communicate, cooperate, make decisions together, resolve conflict peacefully, restore your sexual and emotional connection, and restore positivity into your marriage. Make their job easier by following their marriage advice.
8. Continue Going to Therapy
Once you have decided to attend marriage counseling together, don't quit. Even if your relationship seems to have recovered from the brink of divorce, there is still much to learn at therapy that can strengthen your relationship against any future issues you may run into.
9. Believe in Your Relationship
No matter how bad things are now, try and remember that you once loved your partner more than anyone else in the world and you can feel that way about them again if you give it time.
If you want your marriage to succeed, you'll need to keep your morale up. Remind yourself that you deserve to be in a happy relationship. Know that you have the power to change things and improve your marriage. Focus on the good in your partner.
Keep believing in your marriage and put the advice you receive into practice to help save your relationship and have no regrets should separation or divorce be the best path for both of you.
Getting divorce advice from a marital counselor is a wonderful idea for couples who still believe their marriage can be saved. Pursuing therapy separately can also benefit both partners during a trial separation. Talk to your partner about seeking counseling before getting a divorce and make sure to find the right therapist for you both.
Divorce can be full of emotional ups and downs.
Download Emotional Rollercoaster: A Guide to Managing Your Emotions through Divorce