8 Ways to Build a Positive Co-Parenting Relationship After Divorce

Posted by Jenny Greenbaum
June 30, 2015 at 12:14 PM

Many couples dread talking to their ex-spouse about parenting issues. This is understandable, especially after a contentious separation or divorce. But by avoiding discussions about co-parenting, you unintentionally put the burden on your kids. They’re left to figure things out for themselves.

 

For younger, adaptable and resilient children, this can still result in healthy adjusted kids. On the other hand, children in certain developmental stages or those coping with additional stressors can begin acting out, have poor academic performance, develop a lack of trust in others or internalize their pain.

 

Here are 8 ways to build a shared vision of parenting with your ex-spouse so your children feel safe and loved as they adjust to their new life.

 

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent

3 Myths Every Divorcing Parent Should Ignore

Posted by Sandi Sherr
June 1, 2015 at 3:31 PM

You are no doubt receiving lots of well-intended advice about how to protect your children from your divorce. What and whom do you believe? If your relationship with your ex-spouse is contentious, you yourself may believe and fear that parenting in separate households will always be a struggle.

But the truth is, you don’t have to like or even talk to your ex-spouse in order to parent apart in a successful and healthy way. You do have to honor your children’s right to love both parents. And you do have to communicate with the other parent in a timely and respectful way (technology helps make this possible).

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent

How to Be a Great Divorced Parent from a Distance

Posted by Jennifer Caughey
February 16, 2015 at 10:09 AM

Following a divorce, new job opportunities, new relationships or even a need to get away from one's ex, can sometimes make long distance parenting the only solution for raising your child. If you find yourself in such a position, you are certainly not alone. In the state of Pennsylvania, we can certainly say that we live in a mobile society. It's estimated that the average North American family changes residence every 5 years.

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent

Why You Owe It to Your Children to Try Divorce Mediation

Posted by Lenore Myers, Esq.
January 14, 2015 at 6:30 AM

Having practiced family law in PA for almost 28 years, in addition to serving as a PA child custody conciliator and working with families in private mediation, I have looked at the issues concerning child custody from all angles. Here are some keys points to consider before moving forward.

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent, Healthy Legal Options

Split Loyalty: What Damages Children Most in Divorce

Posted by Brynn Cicippio
August 19, 2014 at 1:43 PM

We all know or have heard how bad divorces can be harmful to children.  

Outcomes for children of divorce can include:
  • confusion
  • mistrust
  • loss of security
  • being the go-between  

But there are also deeper, longer lasting impacts of parental conflict than that, and the consequences can be life altering for everyone.

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent

3 Well-Intended "No-No's" for Divorcing Parents

Posted by Sandi Sherr, M.Ed
May 21, 2014 at 11:08 AM

This article is an excerpt from Preparing for Divorce, a free monthly support call, sponsored by Main Line Family Law Center, in partnership with Divorce Essentials.

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3 Well-Intended "No-No's" for Divorcing Parents
 
Many parents realize that constant fighting in front of children or bad mouthing the other parent can be emotionally damaging to a child.
But you might be surprised to learn that common notions about divorce-- thought to to help your child cope-- may end up having the opposite effect.
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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent

Divorcing Parents: Proven Ways to Ease the Transition

Posted by Stephanie Newberg, M.Ed, MSW, LCSW
February 4, 2014 at 11:28 AM

If you are tired of trying to work cooperatively with your child's mother or father to make decisions, then co-parenting counseling and a parenting plan may be what you need.

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent

Divorce and the Holidays: Two Must-Have Gifts for Kids and You

Posted by Adina Laver, Divorce and Relationship Coach
November 26, 2013 at 11:23 AM

If navigating or managing your divorce was not stressful enough, now the holidays are approaching… Match the stress of your divorce with the guilt of “ruining” the holidays for your kids and the fact that you do not have the money to spend on big gifts, and you may as well pack it in! Right? WRONG!

Keep reading… there is hope for your happy holidays yet, and there are gifts you can give your kids and yourself that everyone will continue to enjoy all year long.

One of my (Jewish) kids’ favorite movies is Miracle on 34th Street. We watch the black and white version every year where an older gentleman convinces everyone that he truly is Santa Claus.  His own belief about his identity is so steadfast that others soon follow suit.

What is so intoxicating about this movie is how it invites us to truly believe…to suspend everything we think we know about reality, and to believe in something that we otherwise cannot rationalize as true. If you haven’t seen the movie and don’t know what I am talking about, go rent it, get it on Netflix, whatever. Watching it can be a fabulous new tradition at this time of year - regardless of your religion - and you will know what I am talking about.

If you are navigating divorce, you may be convinced that you are ruining their kids’ lives. If you cannot afford the usual holiday gifts, you may also be convinced that your kids will be miserable and hate you over the holidays. And even worse, if your ex (or ex-to-be) can afford gifts that you can’t, you might as well take your place as the lesser parent.

This is what you think you know, but it is not really true.

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Topics: The Mindful Divorcing Parent