How Discernment Counseling Helps Couples on the Brink of Divorce

Posted by Linda Hershman
April 7, 2016 at 1:54 PM

Sarah* discovered her husband Jon's emotional affair with a coworker in typical digital age fashion: via a text message that popped up on his phone, which he had left open on his night stand. This was the second time in their 14 year marriage that Jon had strayed. He had a brief affair six years ago, shortly after the birth of their second child. The couple worked long and hard in therapy to rebuild the relationship. Now Jon begged her for one more chance, but Sarah was done…until she thought about her two young children and wondered whether she could summon the energy to try once more.

If you are reading this article, chances are your marriage is

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Topics: Your Wellbeing, Fresh Starts and Lessons Learned

How to Be Your Best Self Through Divorce

Posted by Sharon Pastore
March 3, 2016 at 6:00 AM

Divorce can bring out the worst in anyone. It is a hugely stressful time, there is a lot at stake, and most people feel terribly vulnerable. All of this gives rise to a perfect storm of anger, resentment, and mistrust and can easily drag even the most caring and good-natured person to behave badly.

 

In a recent Preparing for Divorce support call, empowerment coach Adina Laver, and wellness educator, Dr. Christine E. Kiesinger, explored how to be your best self during divorce.  I loved listening to her story.

 

Over the past 18 months, Christine has been consciously navigating her path as she and her husband uncoupled. Three months in, she realized she needed to consider how she conducted herself and what version of herself she wanted showing up throughout this process, and that even the most aware person can find themselves behaving in shocking ways.  She wasn't happy with herself and began to shift.  

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Topics: Your Wellbeing, Fresh Starts and Lessons Learned

Why the Golden Rule Works to Your Advantage in Divorce

Posted by Ruth Feinblum, LCSW
January 12, 2016 at 6:30 AM

There are a lot of terms for having a low-conflict divorce - a good divorce, conscious uncoupling or a healthy divorce. People going through a divorce understand why a healthy divorce is better for children and finances. But, here's a question you probably haven't considered..Could a healthy divorce also be better for your former spouse? Why should you care? If you, as adults are going to work to let go of the anger during the divorce process, how is that helpful to your own emotional well-being and growth?

 

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Topics: Your Wellbeing, Fresh Starts and Lessons Learned

5 Strategies to Stay Optimistic for a Healthy Divorce

Posted by Ruth Feinblum, LCSW
July 30, 2015 at 3:36 PM

"There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm." John H. Vincent

 

Negative emotions in a marriage, such as anxiety or anger, help us mobilize resources for a challenge. They are your brain’s short-term alarm system, telling you to pay attention because there is a problem, or perhaps opportunity for growth. In order to become our best selves, we must listen to our negative emotions and make a change - whether that’s individual or couples therapy, separation or divorce.

 

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Topics: Your Wellbeing

How to Build a Top-Notch Divorce Support System

Posted by Sharon Pastore, Main Line Family Law Center
June 15, 2015 at 3:34 PM

Even though divorce is one of the hardest transitions in life, there is often a sense of unnecessary shame that prevents people from asking for help. But reaching out for support does not mean giving up. There are aspects of divorce that cannot and should not be done all by yourself. Knowing what those are and where to find support for them will create a healthier separation for you and your loved ones.

Here are three steps you can take right now to build a dependable divorce support system.

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Topics: Your Wellbeing

People Pleasing and Your Divorce Settlement Don't Mix

Posted by Adina Laver, Divorce and Relationship Coach
October 14, 2013 at 12:11 PM

Are you suffering from the "disease to please?"

As a divorce and relationship coach, one of the most common things I hear when I speak with partners contemplating divorce is that each feels as though they are doing so much for the other and that their partner is unappreciative. 

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Topics: Your Wellbeing

The Real Scoop on Infidelity and Divorce

Posted by Adina Laver, MBA, M.Ed.,CPC
September 24, 2013 at 3:40 PM

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy just this month, 41% of marriages are impacted by emotional or physical infidelity.  Additionally, 74% of men and 68% women report that they would have an affair if they knew they would not get caught. Since these statistics are self-reported, the actual numbers could be higher.

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Topics: Your Wellbeing

When You Might Need Mediation After Divorce

Posted by Cris Pastore, Esq. Main Line Family Law Center
September 16, 2013 at 9:15 AM

When the divorce mediation process succeeds, spouses and their family often report a tremendous benefit from having chosen the option, both for the family's long term financial and emotional preservation. These outcomes are immeasurable.

Because the divorce mediation process provides spouses with powerful knowledge and valuable negotiaton skills they can use after divorce, we do not have many "return customers" to our practice. This is an excellent sign and a great testament of the power and efficacy of the divorce mediation process.  

However, there are still times when ex-spouses, even if they remain amicable after divorce, may need post-divorce mediation. Often times, a major life event change will occur that precipitates mediation after divorce. These events are typically centered around changes in income statuses, loss of a job, an ex-spouse's relocation or an illness.

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Topics: Your Wellbeing